Loading torpedoes – Fire!
Posted on: April 23, 2013
The following is based on true events
It’s afternoon in the office. Four of us are quietly working away in our cubicles, when all of a sudden all hell breaks loose:
Me: Fire One! (lets one rip)
Ike: Uh oh, loading torpedoes!!! (pauses) Fire Two!! (belches)
Me: (I’m giggling, so another one slips loose) whups, fire three!
Meerkat: Ewwwwww! You guys!!!!
Me: Tee-hee!
Ike: (innocently) What?
(Suddenly a strange smell begins to permeate the room)
Meerkat: (sniffing) Oh my god, was that YOU? It smells like something died!
Me: I don’t smell anything. Besides, it couldn’t be me. My farts smell like rainbows and flowers and unicorns.
Ike: Kinda smells like fish. And maybe sour milk
Me: (the smell finally reaches me, my eyes begin to tear up) Guys, what IS that?
Ike: Al, do you smell that?
(No response)
Ike: Al?
(No response)
Me: AL!!!
Al: Huh? What? Sorry, Ipod.
Ike: Do you smell anything?
Al: Oh yeah, I just heated up my lunch
Meerkat: Oh my god, what are you eating?
Al: Just some left overs
Me: (feeling nauseated) What is it?
Al: Um, some fish and rice and veggies and stuff kinda thrown together
Ike: (Peers over his cubicle wall) Dude, is that milk? And sardines? What have you got in there?
Al: Yeah, milk and stuff.
Meerkat: It smells rotten!
Al: Well it’s been sitting out
Ike: Wait, you didn’t refrigerate it?
Al: No but it’s OK because I microwaved it.
Meerkat: How long has it been out for?
Al: Um, only a couple of days I guess
Ike: You sure you wanna eat that?
Me: Ok, we need to evacuate (begins to dry heave, runs out into hallway)
Ike: Run awaaay!
Al: (lets one rip) *tiny voice* excuse me!
The Lab 
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